That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Randomize
