my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
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