mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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