What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
