She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
