Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Randomize
