I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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