i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
