Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize
