I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
