she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
we should paint friendship bongs
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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