Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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