Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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