How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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