Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
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