I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
