everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
accomplished twins. life is a go
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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