remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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