FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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