I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
NoShamevember. You game?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
