Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
