Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
