Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
