The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
that's an acceptable place to lick
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
NoShamevember. You game?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
