You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
