that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
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