If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
