Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
