I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
my shit smells like andre
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
