He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I think a kid would responsible me up
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
