Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I need to calm my uterus...
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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