i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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