Texts From Last Night

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  (949): View more from California

  Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?

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  (949): Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse? http://tfl.nu/h2ii
  Replies (21) Good night (3012) Bad night (862)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...

  (1-386): View more from Florida

  thanks for that.

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  (386): I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth... (1-386): thanks for that. http://tfl.nu/7u0v
  Replies (105) Good night (1087) Bad night (4222)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...

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  (306): I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face... http://tfl.nu/9kl8
  Replies (9) Good night (1576) Bad night (4679)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.

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  (847): I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people. http://tfl.nu/av1w
  Replies (16) Good night (1424) Bad night (4396)
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  (760): View more from California

  It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.

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  (760): It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience. http://tfl.nu/sxy7
  Replies (13) Good night (5785) Bad night (995)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.

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  (512): I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America. http://tfl.nu/x9dk
  Replies (7) Good night (2178) Bad night (946)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?

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  (214): Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me? http://tfl.nu/3sua
  Replies (19) Good night (1049) Bad night (2223)
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  (361): View more from Texas

  He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.

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  (361): He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears. http://tfl.nu/n3l2
  Replies (7) Good night (999) Bad night (2763)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house

  (713): View more from Texas

  So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?

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  (832): The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house (713): So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh? http://tfl.nu/xori
  Replies (15) Good night (3867) Bad night (755)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.

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  (651): This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease. (507): Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits. http://tfl.nu/blof
  Replies (18) Good night (2731) Bad night (948)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?

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  (305): Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference? http://tfl.nu/v6oa
  Replies (5) Good night (671) Bad night (1631)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...

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  (505): I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory... http://tfl.nu/vjel
  Replies (10) Good night (2955) Bad night (510)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.

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  (425): You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows. http://tfl.nu/kzgw
  Replies (1) Good night (824) Bad night (310)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.

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  (405): In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win. http://tfl.nu/zkyh
  Replies (4) Good night (578) Bad night (228)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.

  (713): View more from Texas

  They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.

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  (713): He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings. (713): They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge. http://tfl.nu/nsnt
  Replies (2) Good night (846) Bad night (267)

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