Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
should my penis look like a turkey
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Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
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I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.