We won't sleep together?
I wanna passion pit in your ass
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at