i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
P.S. I can't hear my feet
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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