Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead http://tfl.nu/yu41
  Replies (17) Good night (6114) Bad night (1049)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (804): you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning http://tfl.nu/f3jq
  Replies (33) Good night (9731) Bad night (848)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month. http://tfl.nu/7dyi
  Replies (29) Good night (14829) Bad night (1092)
• Favorite

  (985): View more from Louisiana

  Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (985): Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next http://tfl.nu/7632
  Replies (9) Good night (1002) Bad night (3763)
• Favorite

  (61): View more from Australia

  Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (61): Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed http://tfl.nu/qr9l
  Replies (10) Good night (4650) Bad night (942)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (647): Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face. http://tfl.nu/boco
  Replies (10) Good night (2099) Bad night (848)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse http://tfl.nu/4qxw
  Replies (14) Good night (704) Bad night (1373)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry." http://tfl.nu/vnva
  Replies (25) Good night (1754) Bad night (557)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked. http://tfl.nu/s0us
  Replies (10) Good night (566) Bad night (845)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (504): lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult http://tfl.nu/w1mp
  Replies (8) Good night (892) Bad night (384)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car. http://tfl.nu/5ru6
  Replies (1) Good night (344) Bad night (624)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence. http://tfl.nu/3w59
  Replies (3) Good night (480) Bad night (221)
• Favorite

  (260): View more from Indiana

  The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.

  (314): View more from Missouri

  What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!

  (260): View more from Indiana

  Americans.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (260): The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me. (314): What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?! (260): Americans. http://tfl.nu/hz6i
  Replies (7) Good night (766) Bad night (241)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  Is she okay?

  (773): View more from Illinois

  She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (858): Is she okay? (773): She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine. http://tfl.nu/rwoi
  Replies (0) Good night (420) Bad night (244)
• Favorite

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (662): I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good! http://tfl.nu/4rir
  Replies (0) Good night (249) Bad night (416)

Randomize