Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(360): View more from Washington

we are all sexual creatures

(951): View more from California

yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.

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(360): we are all sexual creatures (951): yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any. http://tfl.nu/bk7c

Replies (9) Good night (814) Bad night (2890)
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(815): View more from Illinois

It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.

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(815): It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism. http://tfl.nu/1u0t

Replies (14) Good night (2778) Bad night (1093)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?

(1-603): View more from New Hampshire

Nah, we all need something.

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(603): Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her? (1-603): Nah, we all need something. http://tfl.nu/s7fq

Replies (24) Good night (3120) Bad night (833)
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(519): View more from Ontario

I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke

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(519): I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke http://tfl.nu/3o1y

Replies (50) Good night (1374) Bad night (2889)
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(905): View more from Toronto

you alive?

(1-905): View more from Toronto

ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin

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(905): you alive? (1-905): ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin http://tfl.nu/15wq

Replies (17) Good night (3443) Bad night (676)
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(541): View more from Oregon

So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward

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(541): So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward http://tfl.nu/dpap

Replies (361) Good night (61089) Bad night (7826)
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(225): View more from Louisiana

I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.

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(225): I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime. http://tfl.nu/9cqb

Replies (18) Good night (822) Bad night (5494)
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am

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(262): I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am http://tfl.nu/wxgn

Replies (7) Good night (4224) Bad night (1167)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.

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(401): we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either. http://tfl.nu/u7gs

Replies (15) Good night (1281) Bad night (5771)
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(253): View more from Washington

May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.

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(253): May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon. http://tfl.nu/x8lc

Replies (4) Good night (1345) Bad night (1067)
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(907): View more from Alaska

Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.

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(907): Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was. http://tfl.nu/9i4y

Replies (3) Good night (1944) Bad night (616)
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(307): View more from Wyoming

You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.

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(307): You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home. http://tfl.nu/j8m0

Replies (10) Good night (537) Bad night (1871)
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(512): View more from Texas

They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"

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(512): They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do" http://tfl.nu/5kcu

Replies (8) Good night (3033) Bad night (612)
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(970): View more from Colorado

my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me

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(970): my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me http://tfl.nu/zptz

Replies (1) Good night (812) Bad night (458)
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(775): View more from Nevada

he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever

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(775): he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever http://tfl.nu/oimy

Replies (4) Good night (299) Bad night (860)

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