have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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