the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
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I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
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all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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