Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
