you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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