I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
