I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize