I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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