Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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