I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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