Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
