I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
