your parents love me but you hate me
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
