she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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