she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
accomplished twins. life is a go
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
i think i just naturally attract stoners
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
