I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
