Can i not drive my cunt home
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
