you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
