If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I have grass duct taped all over my body
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I currently don't understand fingers.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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