i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
