Your face is a jimmy john
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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