they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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