"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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