would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Randomize
