the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
