In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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