clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
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