its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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