I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
