Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I will be naked everywhere
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
